My life officially sucks, at the moment. I am sad. A bit too sad.I was let down by someone very close to me. Things are not fine,even at the work front.And, I realized that someone was lying to me big time.Nothing cheers me up. It is just one gloomy day after another.I live alone.(literally, as the girl I share the flat with, works in an odd timing shift,and we hardly see each other during the week.During the weekends, she doesn’t come home)
Suddenly, all the friends seem to have vanished.Everyone is busy getting married or having kids or relocating down south.There were times when I used to think that coming back to Delhi would be the best thing that could ever happen to me. But, sad to say, that I was wrong.Really wrong.I have a big problem, with everything and everyone around me. I don’t usually talk nicely to people now a days. I am cranky all the time. Just like a volcano waiting to erupt.Filled up to the brim and waiting to let lose.
My landlord is a middle aged man who wants me to come to his place and give him the rent in cash every month, as if I have nothing better to do.Whatever happened to the online banking facility.I am paying a huge rent, for this just okay,kind of apartment.The neighbors are a pain in the ass. I want to hunt another apartment, but have no time for that.Plus, a lonely girl, roaming around with property dealers is not such a good idea in NCR.
Forget about the nights, my days are turning dark.Shopping provides no solace.It is just the visa bills that are getting bigger. Bigger, is not better.Chocolates are a temporary remedy.Friends – they come and go.There is just one thing that still makes me feel better – Sleep. The only remedy.But as soon as I wake up from one of the dreams, reality bites me hard in the face.As Calvin says, Reality continues to ruin my life.
With all that, and much more pain inside me, I have to attend two weddings, of people closest to me, and put a brave front by smiling all through.Sometimes, my own sadness overshadows the fact that I am really happy for other people.And then guilt takes over.I haven’t even started shopping for the weddings, like my old self.I just don’t feel like it.
I am still trying to adjust in a (relatively) small company environment although it has been half a year I since I joined.Everyday, the itch to switch, is getting worse.But again, I just don’t have enough time or energy to do something about it.In a place as unsafe as Noida, I return home after 9 p.m., every single day and that too,to an empty apartment which haunts me like anything.I am working 12 hours a day,with a bossy and demanding client, in a crappy project that wouldn’t end for another 8 months.
In case you are thinking of calling me after reading this,DON’T MAKE THAT CALL.JUST DON’T.Sympathies, or Pravachans, are not welcome anymore.Comments are okay, as they might make me feel better.